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So frustrated I want to throw the scale against the wall

Frustrated

I have had a nice relationship with my scale for almost a whole year, but now I think we are going to break up for awhile. My recent Weigh Ins have been frustrating to say the least.

Is that honeymoon phase of my Gastric Bypass Surgery now over as they say? Say it isn’t so because I like being on a Honeymoon. But as well all know to well all good things must come to an end and it is back to work. Great – I hate work. This plain sucks.

Here’s the deal – On October 22nd I finally made it to ONEderland hitting 199 lbs – Yes a major goal of mine and of most of us going through this. It was the best feeling in the world. But since then I have gone up and down ending up as of my Weigh In yesterday, December 3rd, at only 197 lbs. So I have only lost 2 lbs in the last 5 weeks. Prior I was averaging about 1-2 per week and now this!! I want to rip my hair out.

I am gonna be honest with you all – I am terrified. I DO NOT want to go backwards, this is scary. I have goals to make and my next one is to lose 100 lbs by my sugiversary which is coming up on January 23rd, 2013. I am 11 lbs from that goal and what seemed achievable last month now seems like it may not be. I am freaking out a bit.

I talked to my friend who just had Gastric Bypass this morning about my concerns and she reminded me of that all important thing I always say – Gastric Bypass Surgery is just a tool and not a fix it all. That is something we all have to keep in mind. I know that too, but as the honeymoon period starts to go away we have to work that much harder at not falling into all those old habits we had prior that got us here in the first place. I wrote a post last month When Bad Habits Creep Back. I have been trying to make changes and have, but why am I stalling and not losing weight?????

What do I do now? Well in that post I said I would try the 5 Day Pouch Test and have not done that. Starting tomorrow I am gonna do it and see if that can get me back on the right track. If I start tomorrow I will end it on Sunday and weigh in on Monday – so that will be perfect. No I have not been exercising and that can be it as well – now that it is cold I am not doing much but sitting at my desk all day working. So I guess I will give in and get on that treadmill that just collects dust.

I just had to share my frustrations with you all – I am having a hard time right now and with the scale not moving as it was before and it can be a real downer. Having Gastric Bypass Surgery is not all Unicorns and Rainbows folks, keep that in mind. I do not sugar coat anything just so you know.

For the next 5 days here is my plan…. I will do the 5 Day Pouch Test and log everything I eat to share with you all on Monday. I will also get on that treadmill for no less than 30 minutes per day for the next 5 days as well. Wish me luck and stay tuned for the results – ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Lets hope I do not rip all my hair out in the meantime.

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When Bad Habits Creep Back

Bad Habits

When Bad Habits Creep Back ~ Sounds like the title of a movie doesn’t it? Well for most of us who battle with weight loss it is one that plays over and over regardless if you are on a diet or have had Gastric Bypass Surgery like me.

It has been about 10 months since my Gastric Bypass Surgery and I have noticed myself getting a bit too comfortable in the way I am eating. This is something that would happen to me prior when I was just doing regular diets and one of the causes of all the Yo Yoing. I would get to the point of working so hard to lose the weight and then start to feel really good about myself and say “Hey I can have a second helping of that or that one donut is not gonna kill me”.

For those who think having Gastric Bypass is the cure to all of that are so wrong!! Gastric Bypass is just a tool to help get you started on the weight loss journey and not a fix it all and those who are contemplated the choice of going under the knife need to be aware of that. Bariatric Surgery may make your stomach smaller, but no one is operating on your brain.

The good thing for me is that I noticed the Bad Habits starting to slowly creep their way back into my life and I am going to take control before I go backwards. This past Monday my scale went up 2 pounds on my Weigh In day and it was like a big hand came and smacked me in the face saying “Get control”. Now weight can fluctuate from many things and it may not even be from me over indulging at times, BUT I feel it was something telling me to make some changes. So I will take that as a sign to do just that!!

Some of my recent Bad Habits have been eating Entenmann’s Donuts (not the whole box, but maybe 1 a day here are there), Potato Chips, eating a Bologna Sandwich before bed, and not watching my portion sizes. So not good at all!! I think the worst of all of them has been my portion sizes. I find I usually do not eat breakfast ever (I have never been a breakfast person), I have lunch and it is at Dinner where I usually eat too much.

Now that the cold weather is here I am inside working and not as active as I was when it was warm out. Being stuck in the house makes me depressed and with that comes the big battle of Head Hunger vs. Physical Hunger and that battle just sucks!! Sometimes I wish they did work on my brain when they did the surgery, but they did not and this is where things get tricky.

I have so many more goals to achieve and WILL NOT fail myself. God knows it was such an agonizing decision to have this surgery in the first place – failing is not an option. Could I be immaturely freaking out over just a 2 pound weight gain for no reason? I don’t think so because I can see myself getting overly confident and I am thankful for that weight gain because it is making me reevaluate and refocus on my goals.

So here are some of the changes I am making to make sure I continue on the right road. For one I started up My Weekly Food Journal once again. This way I can see what I am actually eating and trust me having to write it down really keeps you accountable. I stopped journaling over the summer due to being so busy and also a little bit of laziness (yup I am honest).

When I am going to eat or looking for a snack I STOP and ask “Am I really Hungry or just Bored?” – scary thing is more times than not I am bored. This is one of the things that got me to this point in the first place and I know you know where I am coming from if you are reading this.

Since my surgery I have always been able to eat more than others who have had the surgery and I am so nervous I may have stretched my pouch (I may not have, but just cautious). So after Thanksgiving I am going to the 5 Day Pouch Test – this is basically when you feel you may have overdone it and want to shrink your pouch back to the days of that fullness we felt right after.

It goes like this:

  • Days 1 & 2 – Liquid Protein
  • Day 3 – Soft Protein
  • Day 4 – Firm Protein
  • Day 5 – Solid Protein

It is said to work really well and I am willing to give it a try, but I have to get through Turkey Day first and will start it up hopefully the Monday following and post all about it here so you all can follow along and hear my results. To learn all about it you can read about it here: 5 Day Pouch Test. Am I excited to have to do this? Hell no!!! It will not be easy, but going through Gastric Bypass Surgery has not been a walk in the park either so what is 5 days right?

So in conclusion I am only human and do not sugar coat any part of this process EVER. Gastric Bypass Surgery for me has been a life changer and as I always say I have no regrets besides not doing it sooner, BUT as with anything in life there are obstacles. When you hit one and get thrown off course the only thing you can do is stop and work to get back on or you will end up back to the start. I have done that way too many times in life and will not allow that to happen again – the only road I want to travel now is the one that will lead me to the finish line and in cruise control.

Stay Tuned as I continue on my journey…