Reflecting on my life since Gastric Bypass Surgery

Reflecting

It has been just about 1 1/2 years since I have had my Gastric Bypass Surgery and I have never felt better. The decision to have undergone such a major surgery is a choice I should have made many years ago. My only regret as I have said is not doing it sooner.

Life for me has changed in so many ways – of course the biggest one is my size. I am down officially 112 pounds and have stalled for the past month or so, but that is ok since I am only 24 pounds from my personal weight loss goal and I have not been eating the best to get down to it. It is what it is and as long as I am not gaining I am perfectly fine with that. The best part is that I feel great and I feel more like the old me that I lost in the fat for so many years.

One of the major changes for me is not having the stress of being overweight and the things that come with it. Things like picking out clothing to wear and feeling like no matter what I pick out I will look fat in it and knowing where ever I am going I will be uncomfortable. Just not having that anymore is such a great feeling in itself – you cannot imagine how awesome that feels.

Other changes that make me giddy now are things like being able to fit into chairs, cross your legs, wearing a tank top in public, not feeling like the fattest person in the room, wearing a bathing suit and not having everyone turn around while you run to the pool, having so much energy you do not know what to do with yourself, caring about your appearance again, loving to go clothes shopping, fitting into your daughter’s shirts, wearing a normal size bra and having choices, your son being able to pick you up and carry you around the room, seeing hubby excited when I try on new clothes and loving how I look, getting compliments when you bump into people you have not seen in a long time and honestly I can go on and on.

Oh and one more happy moment I just had I have to share is one I am starting a new job outside the home on Monday (I have been working from home for years) and it took this long for me to finally feel good enough and ready to put myself out there and I welcome the change. So anyways I had to go fill out some papers last week and they also needed me to try on the uniforms to see what size I needed. She held up the shirts one of them being a large and I said ugh that looks way too small so you better give the the extra large to try on as well. So I figured I would just try the large to start and wouldn’t you know it that it fit me and was even a little big. It goes to show you that even after we get thin we still are in a fat mind set and it will take a very long time if ever for that to go away.

I am also so happy that since I have had my surgery I have been able to be an inspiration to many of my friends to make the same change to their lives – My friends from New York came to visit me this past weekend Husband and Wife and they both had Bariatric Surgery – My friend Laura had Gastric Bypass and her hubby had the Lap Band with plication. It was the first time I saw them since and they looked amazing and felt great.

One of my other local friends, Carla, also had Gastric Bypass Surgery this past year and I have been there with her every step of the way – she is also doing amazing, looks great and is happier than I have ever known her to be. She comes over to hang out a lot and the funny thing is when we ask the kids to take our photo together it is no more – can you make sure you only get us from the neck up, but instead – can you make sure you get our whole bodies in that picture. Who would have thought we would ever ask that???

Then my other local friend, Denise, is actually going in for her Gastric Bypass Surgery tomorrow and her mom had it done 2 months ago. I had Denise over yesterday to give her a last minute pep talk because naturally she is nervous as hell. I think she is going to do great and again I will be there for her every step of they way as she needs me.

To think I was the inspiration to all of them to change their lives in the way that I did is mind blowing and I would have never thought in a million years that I would the one to do that. And in addition to all of them this blog has been so helpful to many either making the decision to have surgery or to help others along the way. The comments and messages I get mean the world to me to know that I have touched so many lives with my honesty and my own personal journey. Just crazy I tell ya!!!

But what blows my mind more than anything else is just how far I have come and how much I have changed inside and outside in such a short period of time. I look back at photos and do not even recognize the person in them anymore. All I see is someone who was pretending to be happy on the outside when inside I was an unhappy mess living in a shell (body) that was way too big for me.

These photos are the ones that really get me. They were taken just about 2 years ago – it will be 2 years next month. For the first time in a long time my whole family got together in one place (my house). While it was an amazing time to be with everyone I also remember how horrible and fat I felt. I believe this was me at my heaviest. I was already in the process of working towards my surgery at this point. I will NEVER EVER allow myself to get to this place again – I hated it.

And here is me just the other day – genuinely happy and feeling great.

Life is Good…