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Reflecting on my life since Gastric Bypass Surgery

Reflecting

It has been just about 1 1/2 years since I have had my Gastric Bypass Surgery and I have never felt better. The decision to have undergone such a major surgery is a choice I should have made many years ago. My only regret as I have said is not doing it sooner.

Life for me has changed in so many ways – of course the biggest one is my size. I am down officially 112 pounds and have stalled for the past month or so, but that is ok since I am only 24 pounds from my personal weight loss goal and I have not been eating the best to get down to it. It is what it is and as long as I am not gaining I am perfectly fine with that. The best part is that I feel great and I feel more like the old me that I lost in the fat for so many years.

One of the major changes for me is not having the stress of being overweight and the things that come with it. Things like picking out clothing to wear and feeling like no matter what I pick out I will look fat in it and knowing where ever I am going I will be uncomfortable. Just not having that anymore is such a great feeling in itself – you cannot imagine how awesome that feels.

Other changes that make me giddy now are things like being able to fit into chairs, cross your legs, wearing a tank top in public, not feeling like the fattest person in the room, wearing a bathing suit and not having everyone turn around while you run to the pool, having so much energy you do not know what to do with yourself, caring about your appearance again, loving to go clothes shopping, fitting into your daughter’s shirts, wearing a normal size bra and having choices, your son being able to pick you up and carry you around the room, seeing hubby excited when I try on new clothes and loving how I look, getting compliments when you bump into people you have not seen in a long time and honestly I can go on and on.

Oh and one more happy moment I just had I have to share is one I am starting a new job outside the home on Monday (I have been working from home for years) and it took this long for me to finally feel good enough and ready to put myself out there and I welcome the change. So anyways I had to go fill out some papers last week and they also needed me to try on the uniforms to see what size I needed. She held up the shirts one of them being a large and I said ugh that looks way too small so you better give the the extra large to try on as well. So I figured I would just try the large to start and wouldn’t you know it that it fit me and was even a little big. It goes to show you that even after we get thin we still are in a fat mind set and it will take a very long time if ever for that to go away.

I am also so happy that since I have had my surgery I have been able to be an inspiration to many of my friends to make the same change to their lives – My friends from New York came to visit me this past weekend Husband and Wife and they both had Bariatric Surgery – My friend Laura had Gastric Bypass and her hubby had the Lap Band with plication. It was the first time I saw them since and they looked amazing and felt great.

One of my other local friends, Carla, also had Gastric Bypass Surgery this past year and I have been there with her every step of the way – she is also doing amazing, looks great and is happier than I have ever known her to be. She comes over to hang out a lot and the funny thing is when we ask the kids to take our photo together it is no more – can you make sure you only get us from the neck up, but instead – can you make sure you get our whole bodies in that picture. Who would have thought we would ever ask that???

Then my other local friend, Denise, is actually going in for her Gastric Bypass Surgery tomorrow and her mom had it done 2 months ago. I had Denise over yesterday to give her a last minute pep talk because naturally she is nervous as hell. I think she is going to do great and again I will be there for her every step of they way as she needs me.

To think I was the inspiration to all of them to change their lives in the way that I did is mind blowing and I would have never thought in a million years that I would the one to do that. And in addition to all of them this blog has been so helpful to many either making the decision to have surgery or to help others along the way. The comments and messages I get mean the world to me to know that I have touched so many lives with my honesty and my own personal journey. Just crazy I tell ya!!!

But what blows my mind more than anything else is just how far I have come and how much I have changed inside and outside in such a short period of time. I look back at photos and do not even recognize the person in them anymore. All I see is someone who was pretending to be happy on the outside when inside I was an unhappy mess living in a shell (body) that was way too big for me.

These photos are the ones that really get me. They were taken just about 2 years ago – it will be 2 years next month. For the first time in a long time my whole family got together in one place (my house). While it was an amazing time to be with everyone I also remember how horrible and fat I felt. I believe this was me at my heaviest. I was already in the process of working towards my surgery at this point. I will NEVER EVER allow myself to get to this place again – I hated it.

And here is me just the other day – genuinely happy and feeling great.

Life is Good…

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Second Bathing Suit purchase since my surgery

Bathing-Suit

Yup I did it again and this year was more fun than last. Just as I had said in my post from last year: OMG I bought a new Bathing Suit, shopping for bathing suits has never been a favorite thing to do for me. But this year shopping for them was not so bad and I had even more that I liked on me to choose from.

So that is me in the photo sporting my new bathing suit for this year and I just love it. It is not only comfy, but I think it looks pretty good as well. When I was at the store it was so nice to be able to pick from the non plus sized section and so many more choices. I was shopping with my daughter and she was cracking up at me as I filled my arms up with tons of them to try on to find the one that I liked the best.

From my pile I had 3 in the end that I liked and in the end chose the one you see. Of course it happened to be the most expensive of them all too – go figure. BUT I just loved the fit and how it felt on and said screw it. I ended up going with the swim shorts vs. a swim skirt again because I just feel more comfortable in those bottoms and they also help to hide my heavy thighs which is still the heaviest part on my body and also one of the places I seem to have some excess skin.

I really did not think I was much different from last year until I put the pictures side by side. Last June 2012 I weighed 233 lbs and this year right now I am 174 lbs a difference of 59 lbs. What was I thinking that is a BIG difference.

This year my bathing top is a size 14/16 and the bottoms are an 18. I could fit in the size 16 bottoms, but felt more comfy in the 18 thanks to my big ass.

Last year my top was a size 18 and the bottoms were a size 22.

So now I am ready to get in the pool and sport my suit – I must tell ya it feels so good to not feel a whale in the water anymore. What a great feeling, life is good.

I just have to work on getting my legs tightened up and in shape!!

Stay Tuned…

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Got me a J~O~B outside the home

JOB

I know big deal I got a job outside the home – yeah so what we all have jobs right? Well while this is true for most this is a big deal for me and another new start in my journey after Gastric Bypass Surgery and I will tell you why.

Geez where to start…. So over 16 years ago I worked the normal 9-5 gig in the corporate world. I did what you should do with working hard, getting promoted and moving up in the company – I even had my own office. I was a call monitoring coach for a big sales company – yup I was the one listening in on those calls for quality assurance. I motivated a large sales force, did training and all the other crap that came along with that position. But honestly that corporate kiss ass stuff was never for me – I was never a fan of working – I just wanted to be a mom and stay at home.

So to make a long story short I got married to the love of my life after being engaged for 6 years and got prego with my son. I then quit that job and moved from where we were living in Florida after he was 3 months old and moved back up north to were I live now in Pennsylvania to be closer to family. My hubby worked and I got to be that stay at home mom I always wanted to be. A year and a half later I had my daughter.

Over the course of many years while the kids grew I had odd and end jobs to make extra cash from home – I use to sell a lot of crap on Ebay when it first started and was lucrative. I would sell anything not nailed down and make money – that is when Ebay was fun. But I loved being a stay at home mom even though I ripped my hair out a lot from the kids driving me nuts half the time I still would have not traded it for anything.

Being on one income was never easy, but some how hubby and I would find ways to make it work. Life is not always easy and we always find humor in everything and honestly I think that is what gets us by each and every time times are tough. Hubby and I seem to have lots of hoops we always seem to have to jump through, but we have come to get use to it. When we were married our song was the circus theme when they introduced us because that is our theme song to life. We just embrace it I guess.

So anyway… In about 2005 I decided to start my own business from home. I have always been a very creative person and loved to throw my kids awesome theme birthday parties that were unique and noticed a lack of options for parents out there. That is when The Party Animal was born. Even doing my business I took on other various part time jobs here and there over the years for extra cash like working at Curves locally, which helped me drop some weight back when, and also working with my sister at her retail store for a bit. In 2005 or so I started doing a lot of online writing and then created my Party Blog where I share lots of ideas to help parents when it comes to planning their kids parties.

While I absolutely love what I do and love working from home – it also has its down sides. You kinda lose your identity a bit from lack of being out there having one on one communications with people vs. online friends. You gain weight from sitting at a computer all day long. Being able to sit in your PJs all day long is not all it is cracked up to be. Oh and writers block happens quite a bit. As the saying goes – the grass is not always greener on the other side. I am however thankful that I have been able to earn a living and stay at home to raise my kids just as I had always wanted.

About 6 years ago my hubby had an accident at work which has caused him to become disabled and no longer able to work. It was the scariest time in my life to see him injured and our world changed. The accident effected his lungs and he was in and out of the hospital a lot and we had some very scary moments. Of course all of these events put me into a deep depression and caused me to gain a great deal of weight with all the worry and changes to our lives. He is currently stable, thank god, but he will never recover from this accident and we have a lot of ups and downs with his medical condition. He is unable to physically do the things he use to do which makes it very hard. On a happy note my hubby is one A-Mazing man and pushes himself each and every day – I do not think I could be as strong as him given what he has to deal with. I am one lucky lucky girl I tell ya.

So in January 2012 I made the decision as you all know to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. I needed to get this weight off I could not lose on my own after trying so many diets over the years. I not only needed to do it for myself, but for my hubby and the kids. I needed to get healthy myself.

So what does all of this have to do with me getting a job outside the home? Well I will tell ya… The surgery has given me a new lease on life and I feel more like me again after losing myself in raising my kids, my work at home job and being in the house all day long for so many years. I had never felt good enough in my skin to go out and apply for a job because I had no confidence anymore in myself and how I looked.

I have had an idea on what job I wanted and have been watching for the position to come up for years, but never ready to apply for it until just last month. I decided I feel great and my kids are now 15 and 12 and it was time I made the move to get out there – I was ready!! So I applied and to my surprise got a call the following week for an interview. The job is for an Activity Assistant at a local Nursing/Retirement Home. It is the perfect job for me – I get to do all the fun stuff with the residents and bring my creativity to those who need a little fun in their days. I have always wanted to volunteer, but now I will get paid to do it – BONUS. So I went on the interview and then got called in for another and offered the job.

The best part is that it starts out as a flexible part time position which means I will fill in at first when I am needed and that could not be any better for me as I ease my way back into the working world. This job for me is a perfect fit that I think will bring a lot of satisfaction – the thought that I can bring smiles and happiness to these people has my giddy and excited. I will not be in an office stuck with piles of paperwork, but instead I will get to do all the fun stuff like go on day trips, out to eat, play games (I Love BINGO) and come up with fun arts and crafts for them to do.

So with that said I am ready for a new chapter in my life and the Gastric Bypass Surgery is what has helped me get to this point of feeling good enough to put myself out there again. I am looking forward to the change and hoping I like this job as much as I think I will and have it lead to a full-time position down the road. I will still do my party business and online writing because I love doing that as well and would never give that up since I worked so hard to build it to where it is today.

I think the kids are a little sad that I got a job outside the home, but I think they will adjust and I bet they will end up enjoying the quiet time (lol). Now my hubby will officially be Mr. Mom and I know for a fact he will enjoy the time when I am at work too – ha ha.

My official start date is around July 22nd when I start the orientation process so I have time to chill a bit more and put my feet up on my patio table with my Cold Protein Coffee and watch my chickens – lol.

Wish me luck and Stay Tuned for updates….

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The Gastric Bypass Weight Loss Roller Coaster Ride

Roller Coaster Ride

Once you have Gastric Bypass Surgery be prepared for the Weight Loss Roller Coaster Ride filled with ups, downs, twists, turns, crazy spins, going backwards and dead stops. It is all part of the process and not always a fun ride at all.

I personally have never been one to ride on Roller Coasters at amusement parks, just not my thing. I do however ride on the Roller Coaster of Life and now the Weight Loss Roller Coaster Ride I signed up for. I wish I can say the ride has been thrilling the whole time I have been on it, but I cannot. It has been just as I described; filled with ups, downs, twists, turns, crazy spins, going backwards and dead stops.

I have been though all of them at this point being almost 1 1/2 years post op. I have lost as of this post a total of 106 pounds. Is this ride worth it – OMG yes – no doubt. If you have already had the surgery yourself you are probably on the ride and if you are going to be having the surgery you will soon be on it as well – so get ready.

This ride starts right out of surgery and can seem to go the wrong way instantly – backwards. For instance when I came home from the hospital I was up 4lbs, but that of course was from all the fluids they pump in you at the hospital. Then the ride gets fun and you start to lose lots of weight every week and then BAM you have a weight loss stall and come to a dead stop which can last a couple weeks. Then you start losing again and then out of no where you gain a couple and then lose a pound, stall again, lose, gain, stall. That is how it goes – just crazy!!!

Then come a year post op or so things really slow down and you are not at your goal weight and start losing your mind trying to figure out why and what you can do to get this damn ride back on track like your car derailed some how. Well that is where I am right now. I started my ride at 286 lbs and I am down to 180 lbs. I was so excited 2 weeks ago to hit 179 lbs, but that was short lived – the next week I went up 1 lb and have stayed the same since – Ahhhhhhh. My personal goal is to be 150 lbs, but honestly I do not think my body will get there and that may even be to low for me. My surgeon said a good weight for me would be 165 lbs and I am trying hard to get there, but my body seems to be happy around the 180 lb mark for whatever reason.

The funny thing is that my surgeon had told me prior to my surgery that he saw me losing about 100 pounds from the surgery and leveling out around the 180 lb mark – that just sits in the back of my head – is he psychic? did he cast a spell on my body?

I guess I will have to just continue on the ride and see what comes next for me. Regardless if I make it to my goal at this point I am so much happier with where I am right now. I am so glad I got on this Roller Coaster Ride and I will continue to push myself to make my goal and if it takes another year so be it!!

I cannot believe I am actually wearing a tank top and capris and can go out in public and not stand out looking like a blob. I think if I just lost the other 15 pounds to get to 165 I would be satisfied. We will see where this ride will take me.

Stay Tuned….

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I did it ~ I made another Goal !!

Another Goal

OMG I did it – I made another goal of mine. I am in the 170′s again and could not be happier. I cannot even tell you how long it has been since I have been this weight – at least over 16 years or more.

I am now down a grand total of 107 lbs since my Gastric Bypass Surgery. I am still shocked every time I think about it – just seems so unreal to me. I still have those moments when something will happen where I get shocked by it all.

Like the other day when I was folding laundry and thought a pair of pants belonged to my 12 year old daughter and then I realized they were mine. Things like that will never get old – EVER!!!

I know it has been a bit since my last post, but I have been so busy in the yard and enjoying the nice weather. My hubby and I built the new run on the Chicken Coop for my chickens and it came out AWESOME!!! Hard to tell in the photo but it is very large and has a door so I can walk in and hang out with my chicks. He also put chicken wire across the top so I do not have to worry about hawks or other critters coming in and getting any of my chickens. I was finally able to move the 8 hens that were in my kitchen since chicks into it on Sunday and just in time to get it all clean for the delivery of my new appliances that were delivered on Monday morning.

Oh and earlier in the week my daughter’s pet hamster died – so sad. Then a couple days later she adopted a new pet – a Netherland Dwarf Bunny she named Karrotin.

In addition to all that I was battling the worst sinus pressure headache that lasted for 4 days and finally just today started to subside after taking some Mucinex. It was horrible to say the least.

So I have been very busy with all of that and a bunch of other stuff, but in the end when I weighed in yesterday I got the surprise of making my goal of getting into the 170′s and was so happy and shocked that I ran to grab my camera and take a picture of the scale.

So now it is time to set my next mini goal and I have decided it will be to get to 169 lbs. That may take awhile, but that is ok. I am gonna work hard and while the weather is still cool I will take lots of walks to try and make it happen quickly. I will be in total shock more than I am now to see that number on the scale. That will call for a big celebration and ya know what that is what I will do. When I make that goal I am gonna have a party for myself or buy myself a present – lol.

Stay Tuned…

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My sixtieth week after Gastric Bypass

Celebration

Finally Spring is here and as the weather is warm and there is no rain I am outside playing all day long. And just as my hubby said that as soon as that happened my weight would start to come off again and I would break my stall – Guess what he was right!!!

After being stalled and pretty much at a stand still for over 8 weeks I lost 3 pounds this week. I did lose 1 pound last week, but losing another 3 this week I am so excited!!! I weighed in at 181 lbs – that is a total loss of 105 lbs !! My next goal is to lose another 2 pounds by my next weigh in (next Monday) and get into the 170’s – OMG I cannot even imagine – last time I was in the 170’s was over 16 years ago, maybe even longer.

I would like to thank Mother Nature for getting her shit together and finally letting it be warm and sunny out so I can be outside moving my ass.

Here is what I ate so you can see each day for the sixtieth week:

(I am gonna add the times on as well)

April 1st

  • 9:00 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:30 pm – 1/2 Oscar Mayer Bologna Sandwich with Mayo – 1 slice of Bologna
  • 3:00 pm – 5 Twizzlers
  • 6:00 pm – Went to Longhorn Steakhouse for Dinner – 2 small pieces of Honey Wheat Bread, a Few chips dipped in Shrimp and Lobster Dip, A small Salad and then 1/2 of a NY Strip Steak and some grilled Asparagus
  • 10:30 pm – 1 small Apple and too many Doritos

Today hubby and the kids went shopping to pick out our new kitchen appliances. We went store to store as I touched them all before finally making my final decision. After that we went out to dinner. We went the Longhorn Steakhouse – we had never eaten there before. Let me say the food was A-Mazing!!! The service was not the best, but the food made up for all of that.

Later that night hubby and I watched TV and I snacked on an Apple and too many Doritos – I went to bed having to take a couple Gas X and not feeling so good at all.

April 2nd

  • 11:00 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 1:00 pm – Small piece of my left over steak from dinner last night
  • 3:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 7:30 pm – Lunchable – Light Bologna & Cheese
  • 9:30 pm – Cup of Tea

Oh my day started crappy and I felt horrible all day long. I wrote a post explaining my “Crappy Day” HERE. Those Doritos late the night before was not a good idea at all and I paid the price for that choice!!

April 3rd

  • 8:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:00 pm – Sausage and Peppers on a Hot Dog Roll and a bite of my daughter’s Fried Chicken
  • 1:30 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 4:30 pm – 1 Slice of American Cheese and Provolone Cheese
  • 6:00 pm – Meatloaf, mashed Potatoes and Italian Green Beans
  • 7:00 pm – Rice Krispy Treat (90 Calories)
  • 8:00 pm – Cup of Tea
  • 9:30 pm – Chocolate Rice Cake Snacks
  • 10:15 pm – 2 Slices of American Cheese with Mustard

Today I had my doctors appointment to get my cortisone shot in my arm and to talk about the MRI results of my back. I wrote a post about it HERE. Then after I got home I did some food shopping with my sister and then worked on the computer until late.

April 4th

  • 9:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 4:00 pm – Bites of left over Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes
  • 4:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 7:00 pm – 4 pieces of Sushi Rolls
  • 7:30 pm – Frozen Freschetta Market Veggie Pizza – Ate 3/4 of it. 450 Calories, 20.5 Grams Fat and 19.5 Grams of Protein for what I ate.
  • 8:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 10:30 pm – 4 Slices of American Cheese with Mustard

Hubby let me sleep in this morning and got my son off to school – love days like that. I was so comfy in bed because the cortisone shot in my shoulder kicked in and I was able to sleep on it with no pain – love that. Then I went with my BFF to Sears to order my kitchen appliances which I am beyond excited to come – they will be delivered on the 22nd and it cannot come soon enough. Then later I stayed up late working on the computer.

April 5th

  • 9:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 1:00 pm – 2 small pieces of Rye Bread with I cannot believe it is butter
  • 2:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 4:30 pm – 2 Handfuls of Baked Cheese Doodles
  • 6:00 pm – 4 Sushi Rolls
  • 8:00 pm – Couple bites of Ham
  • 8:15 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 9:00 pm – 1 White Castle Cheeseburger
  • 11:00 pm – Handful of Pistachios

Today I spent my entire day outside doing yard work – woo hooo. Then I finished off the night doing facials with my daughter and then watching our girl shows together in bed.

April 6th

  • 11:15 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 4:15 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 5:30 pm – Sauteed Zucchini and Onions
  • 7:30 pm – Maple Baked Chicken, Baked Asparagus and Sauteed Zucchini and Onions
  • 8:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 11:30 pm – Oscar Mayer Bologna Sandwich with Mayo

Today I slept in again and then had a busy day filled with visitors. I was suppose to be doing yard work, but had a few of my friends stop by and I mostly just sat on the patio and chatted – lol. My hubby did relocate the Chicken Coop to its permanent spot in the yard and we took measurements for the new chicken run he will build. So the day was not entirely lost.

April 7th

  • 10:00 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:30 pm – 1 Slice of American Cheese
  • 2:45 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 6:30 pm – 1 Large Antipasto Salad with Oil and Vinegar Dressing
  • 7:00 pm – 1 piece of Strawberry Upside Down Cake
  • 11:00 pm – 1 SF Ice Pop and 2 handfuls of Pistachios

I caught up on the phone with an old friend who will actually be having surgery in July. Then I Spent the day cleaning the garage with my hubby to make way for all our upcoming Spring projects – gotta start with the hub of it all right? For dinner we had take out and I got a nice big Salad which was soooo yummy!!!

So that was my week – not bad. I did something right because I lost that 3 pounds!!!

As I have noticed before I may not be eating enough on a lot of days. I rarely eat breakfast – not my thing and I really never had. Probably not the best thing, but I am just not hungry or I forget. I tend to pick here and there throughout the day vs. having a meal. I try to have a protein coffee in the afternoon as my lunch and then I usually have dinner and some snacks at night.

My new goal as I stated above is to lose another 2 pounds this coming week to make it into the 170’s – I am going to kick things up a notch and see if I can do it.

STAY TUNED….

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My fifty eighth week after Gastric Bypass

58

So I continued my Food Journal for another week due to my weight gain and my weight loss stall. I was able to get off the 3 pounds I went up last week, but that puts me right back to the same weight I have been stuck at for about 8 weeks now.

The warm weather has still not come our way even though it is Spring now. Mother Nature must have some kind of bug up her ass because she thinks it is ok to create a snow storm when it should be warm and sunny. I am ready to be done with this winter depression and be outside playing in my garden and working on my yard. I know one of the main reasons I have been in this weight loss stall is due to the lack of exercise and I pray once I getting moving the scale will as well.

By starting up my Food Journal again has been a good eye opener for me and has helped me try and figure out what it is I may be doing wrong. Although I have yet to figure it out exactly there are some things that I see I need to change. Honestly I think the biggest one that always come back to bite me is the “E” word – Exercise – I talk about this a lot, but yet avoid it like the plague.

As I look at the things I am eating and my daily food intake I do not think it is absolutely horrible by any means, but not the best either. I am not eating a lot (which could be an issue in itself), I am not making the best choices at times (such as the sweets and chips from time to time), I have definitely not been getting in 64 ounces of liquid daily and worst of all not getting in as much exercise as I should be.

I miss the days of stepping on the scale and having it just go down each week. I hope and pray that will happen again, but when you are stalled for so long it terrifies me in a BIG way. I am not at my goal weight yet and still have 35 more pounds before I get there. Now even though I know I should be exercising and that will help get my metabolism back in gear I still have not done it. What the hell is wrong with me? Why is it I avoid the “E” word like I do. UGH!! Anyway here is what I ate all week for you to see….

Here is what I ate so you can see each day for the fifty eighth week:

(I am gonna add the times on as well)

March 18th

  • 7:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:00 pm – A few bites of left over Roasted Potatoes and Corned Beef
  • 12:30 pm – 1 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • 1:00 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 3:00 pm – A few bites of leftover roasted potatoes
  • 4:30 pm – A few bites of Corned Beef and 1 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • 8:00 pm – A piece of Corned Beef, Cabbage and Roasted Potatoes

Today was a boring day for me I worked for a bit on the computer and then totally cleaned my Bedroom and my upstairs Bathroom. Oh how I hate cleaning bathrooms, but it had to be done – god knows no one else in my family will do it. We also had a small snow storm – ugh – dumb mother nature!!! I seemed to pick a lot today because I was busy and never really sat down for a meal until 8:00 pm.

March 19th

  • 9:00 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 10:00 am – 2 Slices of Salami
  • 11:45 am – 2 Slices of Salami
  • 1:00 pm – Roasted Chicken – I ate a thigh and drumstick
  • 1:30 pm – 1 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • 2:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 3:15 pm – 1 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • 4:00 pm – A small bowl of Baked Cheese Doodles
  • 8:30 pm – 2 Chicken, Rice and Bean Burritos – small frozen ones
  • 9:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 10:30 pm – 1 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie

Today my son had a 2 hour delay due to yesterdays snow so I was able to stay in bed a bit longer – wooo hooo. Then later in the day I had a bunch of stuff to drop off at the local consignment store – love that – nothing like purging!!! Then after that I took my friend to go shopping at Walmart to get all the stuff she needed for her upcoming Gastric Bypass Surgery.

After I got home from Walmart I had to move my hen chicks into a larger cage/brooder because they are growing like crazy and needed more room. My daughter and I added sides to it using poster board and put lots of sparkly flower stickers on the inside for them.

March 20th – First day of SPRING

  • 7:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:00 pm – 2 Spoonfuls of Mashed Potatoes
  • 2:00 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 3:00 pm – 2 Slices of Salami
  • 5:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 7:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 8:15 pm – Lean Cuisine Beef with Broccoli – 350 Calories, 7 grams of Fat, 20 grams of Protein
  • 9:00 pm – Cup of Tea
  • 10:00 pm – Handful of Salt & Vinegar Chips and 1 slice of Salami

So it’s the first day of Spring and I wondered all day where it was because it was not in PA. It was freezing outside with lingering snow on the ground. I am not happy about that and for some reason woke up had some coffee sat down in the recliner and feel asleep until 10:30 – I guess maybe I was hoping when I woke up it would be warm out, but NOPE no such luck. After my little nap I worked a bit and then tackled all the laundry – I even folded it all and put it away – Crazy right?

March 21st

  • 7:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 10:30 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 12:30 pm – 1 slice of American Cheese
  • 1:15 pm – Healthy Choice Steamer Sesame Glazed Chicken – 330 Calories, 5 grams of Fat, 14 grams of Protein
  • 6:00 pm – 2 Chicken Patty Sandwiches on rolls with Mayo, Lettuce, Tomato and Pickles
  • 7:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 8:45 pm – Rice Krispy Treat – 90 Calories

Today I ran some errands and then packed up my hubby and son for a trip they were taking to Boston – a nice father and son getaway. I also got a bit crazy and actually cleaned my oven – yeah totally nuts right? Then after my hubby and son hit the road I got my daughter and took her into her room to clean that. I am working hard with her to get her to part with some of her stuff – I swear she is a young hoarder – lol. She did good and I was able to get her to part with a nice amount of stuff to donate and also bring to consignment. Kids have such a hard time parting with their stuff, but if she doesn’t she will end up being on one of those shows one day – lol.

March 22nd

  • 9:40 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 10:20am – 1 slice of American Cheese
  • 12:00 pm – 3 Dove Chocolates
  • 1:00 pm – 1 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell
  • 3:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 5:30 pm – 1 piece of Baked Flounder, 1 small Crab Cake dipped in Tarter Sauce and Asparagus
  • 7:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 10:00 pm – 1 Black Bean and Rice Burrito from Taco Bell and a handful of Chips

Today my daughter and I went out shopping with my sister. Then my daughter had her friend sleep over and it was just us girls since the boys were away in Boston.

March 23rd

  • 9:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 2:00 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 5:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 7:00 pm – Chinese Food – 1 Cup of Egg Drop Wonton Soup and some Garlic Chicken with White Rice
  • 9:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 11:00 pm – 1 Ice Cream Cone

Today was a fun long day. I cleaned in the morning as always. Then I had a nice visit from my mother and sister in law – they know I get lonely when my hubby is not home, I know pathetic but true. Then my daughter and I got Chinese take out for our special girls night dinner and later in the evening my friends and her daughter came over to watch The kids choice awards with us.

March 24th

  • 9:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 1:00 pm – 4 forkfuls of Italian Pasta Salad
  • 2:00 pm – My leftover Chinese Food – Garlic Chicken with White Rice
  • 3:30 pm – Rice Krispy Treat – 90 Calories
  • 5:00 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein
  • 7:00 pm – Eggroll
  • 7:30 pm – 2 Peanut Butter with Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • 8:30 pm – 1 Small Bag of Popcorn
  • 9:30 pm – 5 Sour Patch Kid Candies

This morning my neighbor came over for a visit with me. Then in the afternoon I spent some quality time with my daughter and we drew and then made some cookies for my hubby and son who wee coming home from their trip today. In the evening I played with my chicks and then caught up on some shows with my hubby.

So that was my week – It looks much better than my one prior as far as eating wise, but still not the best. While I lost the 3 pounds I went up it still just puts me back at that number that won’t budge at all. It is even possible I am not eating enough – I seem to pick all day long and takes bites of food here and there and just tend to eat one meal per day. I do however try and make sure to get protein in each day in my way of the Protein Coffee – this way I know I am getting in at least 40 grams of protein with that anything else I have just adds to it.

I will continue my Food Journal and pray that I can break this damn stall because it truly is driving me crazy now!!!

Stay Tuned!!!

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My fifty seventh week after Gastric Bypass

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So I decided to start up my Food Journal again after being on a 7 week weight loss stall. I finally broke my stall this week, BUT the scale went the wrong way – talk about frustrating!!!

While having a weight gain after being stalled after 7 weeks is horrible and depressing – having kept my Food Journal and being completely honest writing down what I ate may help explain what I am doing wrong. To start off I have posted about my winter depression in a previous post here: Seasonal Affective Disorder – Do you have it too? Dealing with this I know has been a big reason why I have not lost any additional weight for so long as well as my now weight gain.

I know my eating habits have gone down hill and I have been choosing foods and snacks that are more for comfort vs being a healthy choice for me. It is easy to know what I am doing wrong and a lot harder to stop and take action, but with summer around the corner and the fear of gaining more back I must take action now. It is a new week and I owe it to all the hard work I have done to make changes and get that scale moving in the direction in needs to go. I am NOT at my goal weight yet and I promised myself I would get there.

Having Gastric Bypass as I always say is NOT magic. Again it is just a tool to help get you started, but it does not fix your brain and how you think. Those who are thinking of going through it must know this going in. The chances of gaining weight back after having surgery are there because it is not a cure to why we got so heavy in the first place – that is the scariest part of it all. Now that I am past the Gastric Bypass honeymoon stage – which they say is at about a year and I am now past that – it is more up to me vs. the surgery to finish and get to my goal. It is not easy as you can read as I write and I am truly terrified right now.

Honestly I feel like all the other times I have dieted and succeeded then got to the point of feeling good and thinking – hey it is ok if I eat this cookie, oh a handful of chips won’t hurt and then it is a downward spiral from there – if you are reading this I know you know what I am talking about. Right now sharing my story and struggles on this blog I am hoping will be a lifesaver and get me back on track. Writing about my feelings and where I am at this point helps me become more accountable for my actions. With this weight gain and keeping my Food Journal this past week and being honest with what I put in my mouth and writing it down also shows me where I am going wrong.

I truly miss the weeks of losing weight no matter what I did after the surgery and the happiness I had to see the scale going down week after week. Again I am so scared that the rest is in my hands more so than before because obviously I had no self control and that is why I ended up to the point of surgery in the first place. I keep blaming my winter depression, but I have to stop with my pity party and get control back or I will find myself where I started and NO WAY do I ever want to be there again.

So let me share with you my Food Journal from this past week so you can also see what I am doing wrong and the changes I have to make!!!

Here is what I ate so you can see each day for the fifty seventh week:

(I am gonna add the times on as well)

Let me also add in I decided to start my Food Journal again mid week because I stepped on the scale on a non weigh in day and saw the scale go up 3 pounds.

March 13th

  • 7:00 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 9:30 am – Bite of leftover Chicken from my dinner the night before
  • 12:45 pm – 1 Piece of Chicken (small cutlet) and about 1/4 Cup Garlic Mashed Potatoes
  • 1:10 pm – Rice Krispy Treat – 90 calories
  • 3:15 pm – 2 Dove Chocolates
  • 4:00 pm – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein (took me 3 hours to drink)
  • 7:30 pm – Medium Greek Salad with a piece of bread (take out)
  • 9:00 pm – Cup of Tea
  • 10:00 pm – Snacked on Pistachios while watching TV
  • 10:30 pm – 5 Candy Sour Gumdrops

As I stated I stepped on the scale this morning and saw I was up 3 pounds and immediately started keeping my Food Journal again. What I ate on this day was not that bad, but as you can see there were some things I could have done without such as the Rice Krispy Treat and the Candies.

March 14th

  • 7:00 am – 1 Oreo Cookie
  • 7:15 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 10:20 am – I slice of Bread with Mayo
  • 10:30 am – Protein Coffee – Contains 40.5 grams of protein (took me 3 hours to drink)
  • 2:30 pm – 2 Slices of Provolone Cheese & Salami Rolled Up
  • 3:15 pm – Finished my Greek Salad and a few bites of Bread
  • 4:00 pm – 4 Sour Patch Candies
  • 7:20 pm – 6 Meat Tortellinis I picked from my daughter’s dinner
  • 8:10 pm – Cup of Tea
  • 9:45 pm – Frozen Freschetta Market Veggie Pizza – Ate 3/4 of it. 450 Calories, 20.5 Grams Fat and 19.5 Grams of Protein for what I ate.

Today I was sooo bored and not feeling the best – I believe I have a sinus infection. I ventured out to do some food shopping, tried to relax with a sewing project and basically just laid around.

You may be wondering about the Bread with Mayo right? Well that is an old habit of mine – to me it is like bread and butter, but with mayo. I ate that because I needed something in my belly that was quick before I took a pain med. Not the best choice, but I had nothing else to grab at the moment. The rest of the day was not so bad until the Pizza. Yes I ate 3/4 of it, BUT it is a thin crust pizza and not heavy at all like a regular pizza – should I have eaten that much – NOPE, but I did. Shhh I enjoyed every bite too – it is yummy.

So I took a picture of the pizza to show you if you wonder how I ate so much – the crust is extremely thin and then it is pretty much a small amount of cheese with lots of veggies on top. Normally I cannot handle a lot of carbs and this pizzas crust is thin enough that I had no issues. Problem is that I should have not eaten 3/4s of it. What I ate totaled 450 Calories, 20.5 Grams Fat and 19.5 Grams of Protein.

March 15th

  • 7:30 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 9:00 am – 4 Slices of Provolone Cheese & Salami Rolled Up
  • 9:30 am – 3 Oreos
  • 1:15 pm – Handful of Baby Back Rib Chips
  • 2:30 pm – Frozen Freschetta Market Veggie Pizza – Ate 3/4 of it. 450 Calories, 20.5 Grams Fat and 19.5 Grams of Protein for what I ate. (yes I did it again)
  • 5:00 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 6:00 pm – Cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato and pickles on a bun with a handful of baked French Fries
  • 8:12 pm – 1 Oreo
  • 9:30 pm – 4 Sour Patch Candies
  • 10:30 pm – 2 Oreos
  • 10:40 pm – Cup of Tea
  • 11:00 pm – Handful of Baby Back Rib Chips

Wow now that I type this up – I had a horrible day and ate WAY too much – or just made some bad choices. Today my sinus infection kicked my ass and I felt like total crap. In between my eating binges I laid around all day watching TV and having a cat nap from 3-5pm. I am not a good sick person and when I have sinuses and stuffed in the head I am miserable and I was. Obviously it did not stop me from eating bad things, but I think it was more comfort for me. And yes I ate another one of those pizzas again – thank god I only bought 2 and now they are gone so that will not happen anymore.

March 16th

  • 10:35 am – 1 Oreo
  • 10:40 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:00 pm – 1 Slice of Provolone Cheese & Salami Rolled Up
  • 1:30 pm – 2 Leftover Cheeseburgers – No Bun, just dipped in ketchup
  • 2:45 pm – Rice Krispy Treat – 90 calories
  • 6:30 pm – Bowl of Baked Cheese Doodles
  • 10:00 pm – A couple pieces of Broccoli and Cauliflower dipped in Ranch Dressing, 3 Slices of Provolone Cheese & Salami Rolled Up and 3 Oreos

Slept in until 10:30 today due to feeling like complete garbage. On top of that it is snowing – really? Mother Nature is not helping the situation at all. Today was another day laying on the couch watching TV and Movies. I ended up watching The Green Mile and then Forest Gump with my daughter. Those Cheese Doodles were a movie snack. I did not eat much today, but again not the best choices for what I did.

March 17th – St. Patrick’s Day

  • 10:45 am – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer – First thing every day when I wake up
  • 12:00 pm – 2 Slices of Provolone Cheese & Salami Rolled Up
  • 1:30 pm – Coffee with Hazlenut Creamer
  • 6:00 pm – 2 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • 7:30 pm – Corned Beef, Roasted Potatoes with Onions and Cabbage
  • 8:15 pm – 1 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • 9:30 pm – Cup of Tea
  • 10:00 pm – 2 Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies

Woke up late again today at 10:00 am, but I was finally feeling better. After a hot shower which I did not take for 2 days I felt new life in me again and my sinuses started to clear up a bit – thank god!! I put 3 Corned Beefs in my crock pots and could not wait until dinner – I love Corned Beef and Cabbage!! I pretty much saved myself for dinner, but those Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies were a secret sabotage from my sister I think.

This is me and my BFF who stopped by earlier in the day with her kids to come visit me. I am so happy to be feeling better and almost sinus free – now to deal with my bad eating habits and this darn weight gain!!

So that was my week – well almost week since I started journaling mid week. As you can see from what I had eaten there were lots of things I should not have had such as Oreo Cookies, Chips, Candies and too much of that Pizza.

Ya know what is really strange??? Prior to my Gastric Bypass Surgery I was never one for sweets – or at least candy. For some weird reason I crave candy now. It started with Twizzlers and now I love the gummy Sour Candies. I do not eat tons of them, but as you can see from my week at times I just need a few. Honestly I should 86 this new habit right away before it gets really bad.

Now looking back on my week it really does not look horrible, but not as healthy and full of protein as it should be. I have also not exercised at all and if you follow me you know it is not a favorite thing to do of mine. Over the winter I do not get much and while I can be changing that and use the treadmill that sits in my house I just have not gotten on it. Once spring hits and the warm weather is among us I will be getting outside and starting my endless yard work with plenty of exercise, but that is not helping now in the moment.

So with that all said I am going to continue with my Food Journal and work on making better food choices this week. Stay Tuned and check back next week to see if I got that scale to move in the right direction.

I would love to hear from all of you and what you think of what I ate and changes I should make – leave me a comment below and be honest – I am not too sensitive.

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Could my broken finger be from a Calcium deficiency?

Broken Finger

For the first time in my life – 42 years break free, I mean 29, I broke my very first bone. Could this be I have a Calcium deficiency???

Maybe I am jumping the gun on the whole Calcium deficiency thing, but call it coincidence that I was really slacking getting in my calcium for some time and then all of a sudden I get my first broken bone. One may have absolutely nothing to do with the other, but let me tell you that I am not slacking anymore because maybe just maybe they can be related.

So how did it happen? Oh funny story really…I punched my hubby. Yes it is true, but it was not for anything bad I was play fighting or getting frisky however you want to look at it. After 23 years together I am allowed to get in a punch or two when I want don’t ya think?

This happened on July 20th the day before my daughter’s birthday and her party. I was out food shopping and when I came home hubby came to help me unload the groceries (I know he is a great guy) and we started joking around. I started to play punch and when I went to hit him in the stomach (Yes I go for the gut) and what I would have thought would be a padded connection did not turn out that way. Hubby put hist fist up to block it – ugh !!! When I hit his hand with my left hand my pinky finger did something weird and hurt like hell – it was like I hit a concrete slab.

Let me tell you about my hubby’s hands – they are HUGE. Not to get all mushy, but they are one of the things that I fell in love with. I love big manly working hands and this is what he has and now I felt the wrath of the them in not the best way. So while my little pinky finger was stinging I immediately put ice on it as I watched it swell and bruise. At the time I just thought I bruised it and no big deal.

The next day it still hurt so hubby went and bought me a splint to wear to keep it straight. I wore the splint on and off over the weekend. It was not until Tuesday that I looked at my finger and thought “Geez it is still crooked and swollen I should probably have it looked at”. So the next day it was off to the doctors for an x-ray. I just thought it was bruised, but when they told me it was broken at the tip I was shocked.

All I could think about was could this be because I have not been good taking my Calcium like I should??? Yes it could be, but who knows. The doctor gave me a splint and told me I had to see a specialist. Really – for my pinky finger? But I did not want a crooked finger forever so I went with it.

A week later I had another xray and saw the orthopedic doctor who was a little shocked by the weird break. It turns out I chipped off a piece of the bone on the top knuckle and had a displacement fracture or something like that. The good thing was that I have no tendon tears or anything, but I would have to now keep it splinted for at least 6 weeks. Oh Joy.

I go back this Wednesday for another xray to see if it is healing so wish me luck – I DO NOT want to have surgery on my cute little pinky finger. So I guess that is what I get for punching my hubby. Will I do it again? Uh Duh Yeah I will when I need to, but this time I will be sure to make a good fist. lol

Oh and I have been really good about taking my Calcium Supplements since this whole ordeal – So I consider this a good warning for me not to slack off.

Do you like my Sad Face? Yes I can rock a splint like no one else – just sayin’

Have you taken your Calcium today?